No More Secrets has guided many fellow addicts to recover and help them claim back their lives. Here are some of their testimonies.
“From Shame to Grace is no mere saying to me, it is a living statement and testament to my life in recovery. Without first healing myself, I would have had nothing to offer to my family and friends. Now I have grown to be available to my wife, my friends, my children, and their children. I have learned to let life happen and celebrate (most of the time) what may come, not despair what I was not able to control. After 20+ years in a marriage, through a whole lot of support and effort from the men I was introduced to in No More Secrets, my wife now has a husband matching of her worth and I have the wife I always wanted. I am a lucky man.” — Ben
“Jay and the No More Secrets program were the key to my successful recovery. I came to Jay because pornography and the adult industry were taking over my life, leading me to give up on my job and leading my wife to give up on our marriage. I was desperate. Through the course of working with Jay, I was able to stop my behavior, repair my marriage, and build a new life based on integrity and service. Jay and the NMS program were the strong medicine I needed to overcome my dire situation. I couldn’t be more grateful.” — Gavin
“As a participant in 12-step Recovery and NMS since 2005, my life has changed in many ways I never thought possible.” — DV
“Jay has guided me to discovering my value and worth, and has helped me become the man I always wanted to be. I have re-created my marriage from a shambles and a farce into something sacred and precious. I am completely known, open, and free. An immense burden of secrecy and shame has disappeared from my life, and I have found dignity and grace. Jay has always guided me with love and compassion, which at times is the firm honesty that only a person who truly cares can provide, and has always acted in my best interest. No More Secrets is not for the faint of heart. Our contract with each other is to dig and explore, to expose our secrets in a safe environment so that we all can heal. This is hard and painful work at times, and it’s also the most rewarding and meaningful work I’ve ever done. Jay is a fantastic guide, an invaluable mentor, and a loved friend.” — DB
“Jay Parker is brilliant when it comes to getting someone honest. Because of his understanding of addiction and the importance of getting honest before you can begin to heal. Jay creates the safe environment that many of us have never had. Jay saved my life.” — Stan
“I was in my early fifties when I started in No More Secrets. I’d spent my life trying to be a good Christian man, husband and father. However, my secrets were killing me. I could not break my life-long attachment to pornography and masturbation. In No More Secrets, I learned about the root causes of this affliction. I was shown by example how to break the stranglehold these things had on my life. Today, as a result of the work I’ve done in No More Secrets, I am at peace with God AND myself. I am happy, joyous, and free. I have authentic relationships with men and women. And I look forward to each day and marvel at the opportunity before me to continue exploring this wonderful journey we call life.” — Nigel
“After years and years “in Recovery” and various therapies, I still didn’t have protracted sobriety. Meeting with Jay and being in his program gave me real life-changing tools. My marriage, relations with my sons and my career were all at risk. I still have them all. Life is good now. Hard, but very good.” — Keith
“Simply put, Jay Parker has saved my life. His coaching and spiritual support have been absolutely the determining factor in my path from sex zombie to a productive, open and transparent member of society. He’s been most patient with me and my struggles with getting honest and sexually sober. He’s offered insights, tools and resources that I otherwise could not get anywhere else or certainly on my own. And when I have stumbled, he’s always there to help pick me up and regain perspective. Jay makes sure I understand his experiences and those of others, so that I can leverage them to understand or re-learn that I truly am never alone in recovery – that I was and am not more sick than anyone else. Jay is generous with his time, forgiving and above all compassionate and empathetic. I’ve also hugely benefitted from Jay’s direct communication and coaching approach. A recovering addict — especially one such as me, who is lifting out of the deepest depths of sex and love addiction – absolutely needs help with getting to their truth. While Jay can be and very often is soft and gentle in terms of demeanor, his messages time and again reflect the unvarnished truth.” — Dirk
“I came into Jay’s office over five years ago. I was anxious and fearful because my pornography use on my church office computer had been brought out into the open. I could have lost my job, my marriage, my children, and my reputation. I didn’t know what to do, but a counsellor sent me to Jay Parker for help with my sex addiction. I was willing to do whatever I was told, so when Jay said I needed to attend SLAA meetings and become part of a men’s group that would meet every week, I did it. I was part of that men’s group for four years where I learned to be open and vulnerable, sharing my feelings, struggles and successes. Jay helped me to see how I could have a new life of sobriety and he helped me to renew my personal relationship with God. God, my men’s group, regular attendance and participation at SLAA 12-Step meetings, and Jay as my life coach gave me my life back. I kept my job, have reconciled with my wife, have a wonderful relationship with my children and grandchildren and I can look at myself in the mirror and like what I see. Thanks Jay. ” — Luke
“From the outside I was an attractive, middle aged woman raising two beautiful children. From the outside I was married to a man I adored who in return cherished me. From the outside I had people. People to socialize with. People to count on if I needed anything. People that knew and loved me. From the outside my life was beautiful. A fairy tale romance of opposites meeting, falling in love and building a life together. From the outside everything was fine. On the inside, I lived in fear that if I didn’t try to control everything, that everything would fall apart. On the inside, I lived in fear that if I wasn’t pretty enough my husband would leave me. On the inside I lived in fear that asking anything from my marriage was too much and so I did so loudly and often, demanding my husband fix me by loving me enough. On the inside, I lived in fear that I couldn’t any longer outrun the untouchable loneliness that was only lifted by the occasional illusion of connection. On the inside was an inferno of self-hatred, fiercely defended, with the belief that I could change the outcome of the train wreck of my life if only I worked harder. And then the illusion fell apart along with my marriage, my family and my life. All the therapy, self-help books and introspection hadn’t touched my warped ideas of love and so in January of 2010 I met with Jay. What I found in him was someone that understood things I was barely able to put into words, that could describe the warped characteristics of every relationship I had been in and someone who knew what it felt like to be desperate and out of options. Jay told me the first day he met me that there was a solution and then worked with me, until I could see that I too could heal, that I too could love myself and I too could feel worthy of respect and dignity. Jay Parker not only saved my life, but he connected me to a life I didn’t believe was possible or that I was worthy of. Today I have a life worth living and am a woman I love to be.” — Vanna
“I would like to thank Jay Parker for his work with me and for his No More Secrets program and for his fantastic new book. I started working with Jay eight years ago as a hopelessly lost, depressed and addicted person going nowhere fast. I learned to live again as direct result of Jay’s help. Jay became my guru and guide as I learned that I had value as a human being and had the opportunity to turn my life around and do something great with the time I have on this earth. I cannot put into words what the daily work with Jay Parker and the community of recovering addicts did for me! I try everyday to do for others what Jay did for me!” — Harry
“When the consequences of my addictive behavior finally caught up with me–costing me my marriage, house, career, many friends, and my professional reputation–my father, Luke, knew exactly where to bring me for help. Almost three years later, all that loss pales in comparison to all the gifts that Jay Parker and my No More Secrets men’s group have helped me find in sobriety. I’ve discovered a gracious and relentlessly loving God that I never believed existed, found my personal worth and integrity, and learned that misery is truly optional in recovery. Following my Dad’s example, I did what Jay told me to do. Through working the Twelve Steps, attending SLAA meetings, working with other sex and love addicts, and becoming vulnerable and accountable to my blessedly large recovery community, I have traveled a road that is steadily restoring my life in every area–career, family, relationships, and emotional and spiritual health. While it is certainly true that sex and love addiction is handed down generation to generation, my own experience with NMS is proof that the solution can be generational too. My family was saved through NMS. We didn’t give up before the miracle, right Jay?” — Duke
“More than a decade ago, the Seattle ‘S’ community experienced a tremor. No More Secrets came to be. The endless cycle of addictive relapse began to be replaced by recovery from this devastating disease. One day at a time, one more recovering addict coming to my aid, and being surrounded by men who showed the way to God’s grace, our wives and partners trust and my broken life, repaired. I’m not a member, nonetheless a recovering recipient. ‘It takes a village to bring up a child,’ so they say. It’s taken an army of committed, recovering men to bring this addict the miracle of sobriety and sanity. I owe so much to the recovering men of NMS who gave me hope, helped me use the tools, showed the way and lifted me from the lonely abyss of predatory, sexual, self-immolation. I’m grateful and blessed.” — RW
“My life was out of control and I was dying inside. I was bankrupt as a going human concern. My sexual and romantic acting out behaviors were escalating at a dangerous and alarming pace. Jay Parker and No More Secrets saved my life by arresting this deadly cycle and launching me into a remarkable spiritual journey powered by Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous. I needed the rigorous accountability and nonstop emphasis on attacking the core of my disease—a male intimacy disorder—provided by NMS to rebuild, from the ground up, enduring relationships with other men and give the miracle of 12-Step recovery time to take root.” — Dean
“Jay Parker’s No More Secrets program is like recovery cross-training. Plugging into NMS gives newcomers instant access to a wealth of experience, strength and hope from motivated men and women focused on a shared solution. The emphasis on transparency within the community results in an immediate level of support and accountability that could otherwise take months or years to build. Within my first week of joining, I learned about meetings close to home and work, got connected to a sponsor and had a list of men who had gone before me that I could call for advice and support. The number of opportunities presented to me quickly made it evident that my biggest barrier to recovery was my lack of ability to surrender, take risks and be vulnerable. Within the ranks of NMS men, I have had someone to help with any question or challenge I faced in my recovery journey—sobriety, spirituality, step-work, service, sponsoring—and to advise me on how to show up in relationship with honesty and integrity. Jay Parker’s program jump-started me on the way to acceptance and serenity.” — Will
“My attempts to get free from sex addiction failed. I tried to pray my way out of my brokenness, but that also failed. The first time I walked into Jay’s office he told me that I was incongruent with my faith and that I was a predator—he was right. That night, I joined one of Jay’s recovery groups and I haven’t looked back. Today, I have personal integrity and real friendships based on honesty. I have released the secrets that were my shackles. I am not afraid to look at myself in the mirror. I am the man, the father and the friend that I was meant to be. In my opinion, the work Jay is doing through NMS, is divinely inspired. Jay has given me a life that I never thought was possible, and for that gift, I am and will be eternally grateful.” — DD
“For decades I acted out in so many ways, addiction numbed the deepest pains and darkest secrets. I could see myself extinguishing my life so quickly but not being able to stop the destructive behaviors. I was barely surviving and thinking of ending my life one too many times. I was living in the edge, risking the loss of family, relationships, job, everything. I couldn’t see the end of it. I was out of hope when I crossed paths with Jay Parker and the No More Secrets Program. Out of desperation I surrendered to the guidance of the people that went through recovery before me. Jay asked me not to leave before the miracle of the program, I didn’t, the hopeless pain went away and I got to save my life and my family. I’ll be forever grateful for the journey. Now recovery is a lifestyle. It’s all about thriving.” — Tonia
“I knew I was living a lie, but I didn’t know any other way. I don’t mean I told a lie or two, I mean my whole life was a sham. It looked great from the outside but inside I felt dead. Too much was never enough. I was referred to Jay Parker by a dear friend. Jay was the first person who truly understood what was going on in my head and could tell me why I was out of control. He got me right away and, even better, had a simple and powerful solution. It’s been hard, but life-changing work. Today my life is fulfilling, spiritual, connected and full of love. I have repaired my marriage, built a recovery community, achieved success at work, and most importantly I am now the great father my kids deserve.” — JAM
“My fear of intimacy left me and everyone else a mystery. Working with No More Secrets has allowed me to share all of who I am and to really know the men around me. I was alone and now I am a member of courageous and loving community. My family and I will be forever grateful to Jay.” — GH
No More Secrets is a non-discriminatory program, everyone is welcome regardless of their sexual orientation.
NO MORE SECRETS 